Replanting the seeds
How do we pick up the pieces when they fall apart? How do we mend something that is shattered and can never go back to the way it was before? What do we do with the fragments when they only loosely fit together? The first time I lost my faith in the church, I decided I would simply discard the broken pieces. My trust had been so shattered as I uncovered parts of the Church's history that had been hidden, obscured, or simply omitted, that I had no hopes of reconciling the difference between what I'd been taught and what I now knew to be true. It was just easier to walk away completely. I took my anger and resentment, and I burned away the parts of me that were "Mormon" both figuratively and literally as I set my patriarchal blessing on fire. Any desire to return to church smoldered in the ashes of those burning pages. It was a lie, it was all a lie... That's what kept circling around in my mind as I reeled from the sudden destruction of my faith. I hated the chur...